Olympian Gods Ask Column
by PiscesWriter8
Summary: Letters written from demigods to the gods for advice on love, friends, ect. Basically a demigod writes a letter of problems to the gods and they reply with "good" advise. Better than suckish summary! Thalico, Percabeth, and possibly Tratie. EnjOy!
1. Chapter 1

**I had this little brainpop of a story type thing and I loved it! I hope you like it too! Basically in each chapter a demigod writes like a letter of advise to the gods and they reply. Please not not every god will reply to every letter, only a couple. I would love ideas for demigod's letters and different gods replies! In simpler words this is an Olympian God ask column.**

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><p>Dear Gods,<p>

I am having a bit of trouble and I would like your advice. There is a girl I have a crush on named Thalia. But I don't think she likes me. Why would she anyway? I'm unfriendly and antisocial and I run around with the dead. I'm also keeping an emo image. Besides she's run off with Artemis and her stupid hunting thing so Thalia can't fall in love. But, I really like her.

-Nico

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><p><strong>Replies from the Gods:<strong>

How dare you fall in love! If you're my son you must stick with the dark and despairing personality! Do not unveil your emotions! But, being your father I will help you with your little "love" trouble. I suppose most would advise you to stick with the damn modern theme of asking her out. I used something along those lines to get your mother. Although, I prefer my own classic way. The way I started way back before mortals heard of this dating thing. Just capture her one day when she's alone and drag her into the Underworld. Then you simply trick her into eating a pomegranate. That simple. Only you don't have to feed her a pomegranate. What are the foods you kids are into these days? Give me a moment… ah McDonald's right? Oh yes, yes. Drag this Thalia girl into the Underworld and give her a happy meal. I followed this little love skill and look at me! Persephone and I are a perfectly happy couple (don't deny it!).

Death go with you son,

Hades

**...**

My huntresses are not stupid! They are level headed and the smartest girls you will ever meet! We do not need you butting in and taking away our Thalia. She is a true huntress so quit trying! My huntresses have no need for your little boyish love. Although I must admit you and Thalia both have that little emo gothic style. Wait, forget I ever said that! Leave her be son of Hades!

-Artemis

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><p><strong>Did you guys like it? Should I continue? review review review! Thanks!<strong>


	2. Chapter 2

**Hi guys! I'm so excited because i already have 9 reviews for this and that's awesome! :) So I'll just do some quick thanks to: Pjolover10 (my first review), Athenagal22, TheGreekGoddessAphrodite, Snowslash (I liked your idea btw and I'll definitely use it in some future letter), the facebooker, GeekAtWork19, kittywaffles and ISolemnlySwear-MischiefManaged. Thanks to all you ppl! **

**Also, there is going to be a new kind of twist to this. Alright so a demigod will write a letter and some gods will reply, but, for each reply, you have to guess which god wrote it and put your guess in your review! It might be a little easy for this one cause I just started with it but as this continues it will get trickier!**

**Okay, so now go ahead and read...**

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><p>Dear Gods,<p>

Annabeth and I have been going out for a while now and she hasn't been getting mad as often. But just yesterday she completely freaked out on me and I have no idea what the hell I did wrong! Please tell me how I can get her to talk to me again!

Ummm, thanks,

Percy

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><p>What in Hades names is wrong with you Perseus Jackson! Did you not remember yesterday was her birthday! How could you ever forget that! I never liked you and now look what you've done! Even Hermes' snakes, Martha and George remembered to send her a present! Men! They forget everything and never use their head. It's probably because you're the son of the water headed Poseidon You're lucky you had Annabeth come with you on that mission to save Olympus because if she wasn't there you would have screwed the whole thing up! I could go on with a list of horrible things about you but I want Annabeth to be happy, so, ya know, just get her a birthday present.<p>

Worst Regards,

(name of god #1)

**...**

I have no idea why your little girlfriend would be mad at you. She's probably just a little hot-headed smart girl like her mother. Okay, you did forget about her birthday yesterday, but it's just a birthday! I've had at least twenty-six million birthdays and I haven't remembered every one. You know women; always expect you to remember everything. How are we suppose to, though? Don't they realize we have other important things in life, too? But don't worry, she'll get over it. Amphitrite got over the fact I've been running around with wood nymphs and mortals and now she's fine with it. It might be stormy now, but it'll blow over.

-(name of god #2)

**...**

Oh my gods Percy! How could you do this to poor Annabeth! Oh the love drama! A man should never forget his loved one's birthday! But maybe the love fates are in your favor today…

Ta Ta!

(name of god #3)

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><p><strong>So go ahead and take your guess for advice giver #'s 1, 2 and 3. Remember it can be any Olympian god from PJO and it includes any minor gods. So guess guess guess and results for each chapter will be posted in the next update!<strong>


	3. Chapter 3

**Hiyas! So I have a ton of reviews already and I just want to thank everyone that reviewed or added this to their favorites or alerts! You people are awesome. So a lot of people put in their postings of who they think the three letters were from. I know it was kinda easy but hopefully the letters will get tougher as i progress with this. **

**here are the answers for the last posting:**

**1. Athena**

**2. Poseidon**

**3. Aphrodite **

**Okay so the same aspects go for these replies. (again they are pretty simple to guess). Also I would love ideas from anyone of a character's problem or a god's reply or any OC's that you want to introduce! I also want to mention Snowslash for suggesting an idea of a letter from Grover!**

**Now R&R!**

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><p>Dear Gods,<p>

Okay so I'm not a demigod (dear Zeus don't strike me with lightening again!), but us Saytrs have very dramatic lives too. The other day I went out to a Mexican restaurant for some good enchiladas. You would never guess what happened. A Mary-Sue was there and she rushed over to me and took my enchilada saying she'd sell it and be famous! It was terrible! What I'm I suppose to do next time something like that happens?

Again, please don't kill me!

Grover

The god's won't help you, goat boy. I really hope you do get struck by lightning because that was complete hellhound crap! If you send anymore "problems" to us I WILL find you and beat you up! I know what forest you are working in.

-(name of god #1)

p.s. "please" is not a word in my vocabulary

**...**

Strange little saytr

Enchiladas make you fat

You on any crack?

How was that Haiku? I must admit that it's pretty genius for a first draft if I do say so myself.

Please, please, hold your applause!

(name of god #2)

**...**

If I could grow a garden of enchiladas for you Grover, would you stay off this ask column? Well, I can't grow an enchilada garden since they are not plants. Just stay off this or I'll send a pack of rabid watermelons after you. Watermelons hurt. I've had them sick Hades plenty of times. Oh, his birthday presents. I chuckle.

-(name of god #3)

**...**

Grover, you are a total idiot. Go jump into Tartarus.

Sincerely,

(name of god #4)

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><p><strong>Which god wrote what? I guess you'll find out later! Again, it can be any minor or major godgoddess from PJO!**

**Please send in any ideas you have for letters from characters or gods! Thanks so much! :)**


	4. Chapter 4

**Hi! So I received even more reviews and that's great! So again I got so many reviewers and favorite story alerts and stuff from a ton of people, so again, just thanks everyone! ( wow I just said "so agin" twice in one sentence. XP) Maybe some of you have been waiting for this next letter or the answers for the last letter or both! Well, the time has come...**

**Answers for last letter:**

**1. Ares**

**2. Apollo**

**3. Demeter **

**4. Dionysus **

**Most of you got 2 and 3 correct but many of you guessed either Hades, Zeus or, of course, Ares for 1. Also, a lot of you had no clue what 4 was and it was Mr. D cause he's always picking on Grover and he mostly keeps his answers short and to the point. Such as "you're an idiot."**

**Hope you all like these letters and again, ideas for future letters from demi-gods or replies from gods are appreciated and OC's are welcome!**

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><p>Dear Gods,<p>

I really really really want to be a chef. I've heard rumors that my father, Ares, is a horrible cook, but making food is my passion! I know chocolate chip cookies inside and out and I can make killer omelets! Just ask the other demi-gods at camp Half Blood. How can I achieve my dreams?

-Kate, daughter of Ares

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><p>Oh, so you were the one that cooked those omelets. They were certainly killer. I have no idea what was in those but the whole Hermes cabin smelled like a sewage drain for days! Maybe you can make stink bombs or something. Yes! That would be amazing for pranks! Take up that passion instead.<p>

-(name of god #1)

**...**

I'm not sure if you've been told this or not, but your father sucks at cooking! He tried to make all us gods' dinner one night and I banned him from the Mt. Olympus kitchen for eternity! My guess is that you can't be any better than he was so don't you dare go down that road. Try something else. For example, working out all summer so you can maul people with a single slap of your hand. Ha, now that would be amusing.

-(name of god #2)

**...**

Cooking you say? The furies and hellhounds in the Underworld need a new chef. And they'll eat anything, no matter how crappy it is! Can you please go down and make food for them? It's probably your best shot at getting anything to eat your, um, food type substances. Let me know if you're up for the job!

Thanks so much,

(name of god #3)

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><p><strong>Review and post your answers! Thanks!<strong>


	5. Chapter 5

**Hey ya'll! Kay so most of you got the first two Gods right for the last letter but none of you guessed the right god for the 3rd letter. The only person who came close was 2lazy2login. They guessed well, answers are below:**

**1. Hermes**

**2. Zeus  
><strong>

**3. Persephone**

**So now a lot of you might be thinking, "what? #3 is Persephone? that's BS." buuuuttttt... Persephone lives in the Underworld with her "beloved" husband. Hades wouldn't want any annoying demi-gods down in the underworld with him. Persephone wouldn't mind the company. Also, she's a god so she also can be a bit bitchy to mortals. But, she is a little kind and said "please" and "thanks so much" in her letter and how many gods would be polite like that?**

**So enough of this, go on to this letter and post your answers! Also, this idea came from a little idea from Mystica Tempest. Thanks so much for the brainpop! (lol... brainpop...sorry)  
><strong>

**Also, again, ideas are appreciated!  
><strong>

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><p>Dear Gods,<p>

Nico is the most annoying brat I have EVER met! He keeps bugging me and saying I should quit hunting with Artemis and stuff and it's so annoying! I can't stand visiting Camp Half-Blood because he never stops talking to me! How am I supposed to get him away without physically hurting him?

-Thalia

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><p>He is a little brat isn't he? I mean honestly, he ruined his whole family! He could care less about his father, he sent his sister on a mission knowing she could die and his mom is dead! Plus, he's been staying in a casino for 70 years or so. He doesn't seem to give a damn about anything and he's all dark and emo and not a social butterfly at all! My gods, Thalia, if I actually cared the least bit about you I would feel bad. Just scream in his face and scare the crap out of him or something; that'll send him to the Underworld crying. Yelling is a great discipline and works well in family life.<p>

-(name of god #1)

**...**

Thalia, are you that stupid? You're a, well, _almost_ smart girl. Use your brains! Why would a little twelve-year-old boy be bothering you like that? It doesn't take a genius (like myself) to figure that one out.

-(name of god #2)

**...**

Oh. My. Gods. Thalia! This is terrible! How can you be getting annoyed at Nico? This is not good. Don't you see why he's being annoying? Do you know nothing about love? Holly crap, Thalia, just because you're in Artemis's huntresses doesn't mean you can't know anything about love! I agree with Nico, leave the huntresses!

-(name of god #3)

**...**

Hm, he's really bothering you, huh? If he ever gives you a happy meal, take it as a kind gesture and eat it. He gets lonely. Oh by the way, do you like happy meals or would you prefer to eat a pomegranate? There's no reason for the question… I'm just curious…

-(name of god #4)

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><p><strong>Hope you liked it! Post your guesses and you'll find out the answers soon... =)<strong>


	6. Chapter 6

**Hello everyone! I'm up to 91 reviews which is awesome! Thx so much to all! **

**Results for the last letters:**

**1. Hera**

**2. Athena**

**3. Aphrodite **

**4. Hades**

**if you have any questions or comments about the results please PM me! Thx**

**On with the letter! Oh and cootoes (no idea how to spell that word) to Cici'sPizza-NeedHelp for the idea! now you may go on and read the letter! R&R! :)  
><strong>

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><p>Dear Gods,<p>

We want to play a hilarious prank on Camp Half Blood! But, we're not sure what to do. Nothing too amateur. Did any of the gods ever pull any good pranks? Well, any gods besides Hermes?

Thanks,

Travis and Connor Stoll

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><p>Believe it or not, I used to pull pranks a lot. My huntresses can tell you all about it. Once, though, I pulled a great prank on all the gods. That was about a hundred years ago and it took them eighty years to finally figure out it was me. I took all of the thrones and changed them to tree stumps. It was very funny; all the gods were in disarray trying to figure out where their thrones went. Everyone figured it was Hermes but then Poseidon found Hermes's throne at the bottom of the sea, soaking wet, and they decided it couldn't have been him. When I finally admitted it was me, it had been such a long time since it happened that they didn't get too mad. My brother had no idea I could pull something like it. Although, if I were you, stealing the gods' thrones could get you killed…<p>

Good Luck,

(name of god #1)

**...**

If you want, I'll come down and put on quite a show with the bonfire. You two could pretend to be shape shifting it and I'll help. It would scare the Hades out of all the campers. Maybe "you" can throw a fireball at Dionysus. That'll teach him. And you two would get in trouble for it instead of me! Don't worry; he'll probably go easy on you in punishment. Well, maybe not but… pray to me if you want my services!

-(name of god #2)

**...**

I happen to be pretty good at pranks myself. When you have a sister, you've got to have tactics. Here's a pretty simple trick that'll get everyone real good. Hermes would say this is the oldest in the book but it's funny. Blast a really torturous song around camp for a week. Make sure you wear earmuffs or something so you don't have to listen too. Ever heard of that really annoying song called Baby by Justin Bieber? Zeus hates that song so I made a special recording that played over and over again all around Olympus, but only Zeus could hear it. It was hilarious. He couldn't stop humming it either,"Baby, baby, baby oh." He wanted to kill that Bieber kid, but not as much as he wanted to demolish me… Let's just say when you pull a prank on one of the most powerful gods, he'll do really bad stuff to you. I was banned from Olympus and forced to live on Earth for nine years. It was because of the prank, not the whole dragon thing.

-(name of god #3)

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><p><strong>***Just a quick note about the dragon thing in the last letter: According to Greek Mythology Zeus gave this god the punishment of living on Earth for nine years cause he slayed a dragon. If you are interested and want to know more please PM me!<strong>

**And remember to post your answers or review or both! XD  
><strong>


	7. Chapter 7

**The next letter is finally here! yay! Before I give the answers, I have a quick little message. My English class put together a whole book of poems and my English teacher gave the book to us at the end of the schpol year. I've posted some of the poems on FictionPress and i'd love for you to see the poems and review them! There is a link to view the poems on my profile! please read them, thanks! :)**

**On to the results!:**

**1. Artemis**

**2. Hephaestus**

** 3. Apollo **

**Any question on the results please PM me.**

**Thanks for all the reviews everyone! i'm up to 113 which is amazing! XD **

**Okay, now on to the letter...**

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><p>Dear Gods,<p>

I was thinking of how one day I want to marry Percy. Then I got this thought, how were you proposed to?

-Annabeth

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><p>Marriage is a horrible thing. Want to know how I was proposed to? My terrible husband kidnapped me and dragged me into the Underworld. Yes, I did cry, but because of unhappiness. Then he tricked me into eating a damn pomegranate and I had to marry him! My mom hates him so make sure you ask your mom before you marry this guy. If you're lucky, she won't let you. Never trust husbands. Before you know it Percy will trick you into eating chicken or something and them, bam! You'll be trapped in his clutches forever! Watch the chicken he gives to you…<p>

(name of god #1)

**. . .**

Ahh I remember when I was proposed to. I already figured he'd ask me to marry me some time or another, I mean, who wouldn't? I'm beautiful! Of course I said yes because who would ever refuse something like that? He was lovable-ish and kind. But, when we actually became married I realized for the first time that he was lame and soooo not attractive. Now, when a gorgeous person like me is married to someone that looks like a ogre, well, it gives you a terrible rep. Besides he never spent all day paying attention to me. He would spend his time in a workshop with cyclopes. He chose cyclopes over me! Naturally, I left him immediately. But he still watches me and it's creepy! A wife is waaay to much of a commitment!

Love Always,

(name of god #2)

**. . .**

I wanted to get married too when I met my husband. He was charming and sweet and he seemed to love me. Big mistake. We got married and he started running off and falling in love with mortals and nyaids and I was so sad! Then he has a kid with a mortal woman that turned out to be a huge part of some prophecy. You know what happened to our son? My husband barely pays attention to him! I regret marrying him.

(name of god #3)

**. . .**

Why do you need to get married? I was never proposed to and now I'm better off. I just worry about the moon and my huntresses and my brother. Thalia has told me all about this Percy boy. He doesn't seem like a good type. Seems like whenever you are with him you almost get killed! I remember when I met him… he let a monster take you away! Maybe next time you'll end up in Tartarus or something.

-(name of god #4)

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><p><strong>hope you enjoyed it! please review and post your answers! oh and read the poems if you can! until next time...<strong>


	8. Chapter 8

**Hey people of Earth! I haven't been kidnapped by mermaids or anything... although I have been at the Ocean everyday, almost. I've been extremely busy and I hope you have been enjoying your summer as much as I have! I apologize for the long wait. Right now I can smell saltwater and hear crashing waves and feel the sun on my face... ok enough babbling...  
><strong>

**Answers for last letter:**

**1. Persephone**

**2. Aphrodite**

**3. Amphitrite **

**4. Artemis**

**Any questions or comments please PM me, thx. :)**

**Now on with the letter (finally ;))**

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><p>Dear Gods,<p>

I, well, I have something to admit. I'm not as tough as I seem to be. I mean I sorta have to keep up some sort of rep, with my dad being Ares and everything, but I really don't like being so tough. I only hang out primarily with the Ares kids in their cabin and I feel like a social outcast! I'm not_ this_ mean and tomboyish! I want to be a normal girl. Help!

-Clarisse

p.s. Okay maybe I still want to have a tougher image but not avoid-that-girl type of image!

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><p>My… dear girl. Why did you not say something earlier? You want to have many friends but still be tough? Why, I have a perfect opportunity for you! Iris message Thalia and I might be able to provide you with exactly what you would need.<p>

Please consider joining me,

(name of god #1)

**...**

I could care so much more about this but I don't. The other gods just pulled me out and expected me to be an advisor for this freaking ask column. So what if you don't have any friends? That means less people to bother you. Whoops… Zeus wouldn't want me to say that. Ummm, believe in your dreams and one day you will make it to a beautiful world of flowers and butterflies. Just be positive, blah blah blah. Okay, screw this.

-(name of god #2)

**...**

I am disgraced! What do you want to be like one of Aphrodite's pretty pretty princess daughters? You are a true warrior at heart! Nothing gets past you! You do not show your emotions. Go beat up Percy, that'll make you feel better and it'll be some entertainment for me. You are Clarisse, Daughter of Ares! Let me tell you something, don't look at prissy girls like Aphrodite or Athena or Poseidon. They aren't worth it. You can do so much more. One day they will all see.

-(name of god #3)

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><p><strong>OKay so please post your answers and my goal is to update again by next thursday! TTFN (ta ta for now) lol<strong>


	9. Chapter 9

**Hey guys! I apologize for the long wait for an update. :( I either got lost on the trip back from the moon or I was drowned in school starting again... you can use your imagination :) And, again, I'm quite sorry fro the wait between August and December.**

**Here are the Answers for the last one:**

**God #1: Artemis**

**God #2: Dionysus**

**God #3: Ares**

**Please PM me with any questions or concerns.**

**Please enjoy this letter and please comment! Also, I would love if you visited my DeviantArt page. You can find it at my profile or the address is here: .com**

**Oh and Happy Holidays! he he :P**

**Also, this letter is written by Piper from the Lost Hero. If you haven't read it you should because it is freaking awesome! :)**

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><p>Dear Gods,<p>

I've seemed to have fallen in love with Jason. Wow, that sounds really sappy. Anyway, I really like him. But, turns out, he doesn't remember me! I mean I think he's my boyfriend, but I don't know anymore! Ever since the journey I've been so confused. But, does he like me?

Help!  
>Piper<p>

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><p>Does he like you? Of course he does! The fates are with you two! If you had been a pretty pretty Aphrodite girl like Drew, you never would have gone on the quest with him! It's fate, my dear, or love. Haha, it's both!<p>

Love,

(god #1)

**…**

You know, I've been with many women in my life. And I suppose some men, but I won't get into that. Anyway, you think you love one, but then you're at the beach one day and see a pretty hot brunette and you're mind goes in a flash. Then you realize you've dedicated your life to some wife who annoys the hell out of you. And it's never truly love, just lust. So yes, love is sappy. Deal with it. Other god will say blah blah, fates, blah blah, destiny, blah. I'm just giving you my experiences.

Sincerely,

(god # 2)

**…**

Girl, did you learn nothing on that journey? You're memory was taken and the mist was placed in your way! Gods, you'd think being one of the chosen ones would make you think a little more. Tisk, tisk. But, maybe you're sudden love interest in Jason will unite the camps? Humph I'll let Aphrodite deal with that. And he was never your boyfriend, and there might be the chance he's in love with someone from another camp… it's a possibility. But, maybe you two will be together. As long as the seven are found and the journey is finally taken I could care less about the "couple" thing. But, if you like him, stay with him for the time being, it could change things for the better.

Small Blessings,

(god # 3)

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><p><strong>I hope you liked it! Please review and visit my DA page if you have the chance! thanks XD<strong>


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